Virtual Validation [#DailyDEBO]

DailyDEBO

The need for validation through social media is an epidemic on the rise. As we sprint through the digital age with non-stop evolving technology, we are blinded by the screens of our phones and ignorantly distracted by likes and retweets. 

The ability to connect with people without internet is an interpersonal skill that we are losing sight of. I call it diarrhea of the thumbs – it’s an uncontrollable need to post, check, like, tweet, comment, and share.

Sure, people use social media as a tool to reconnect, or for engagement, to be part of a community, or for promoting brands and business, but it is not a platform for emotionally charged projection.

You cannot feel energy through an iPhone and Androids are not exactly capable of sending or receiving vibes. But still – so many people seek the instant gratification (or justification) by sending a post and connecting with someone about it.

I realize, it is human nature to want to empathize with someone about what they are feeling, but the blindness of doing it from behind a screen gives leeway for misguided tone or misunderstood diction.

Social media isn’t going anywhere, obviously, but keeping a mental note to be mindful and present in your face-to-face connections can help hinder the constant need for virtual validation.

Shake It [#DailyDEBO]

DailyDEBO

Yesterday, I blogged on music, which got me thinking about the immediate effects of music on the body and basically… and how important it is to dance. There’s a saying on every inspirational meme page that says “dance like nobody is watching” and as cliche as it is – you should. 

It’s so effortless too. Put your favorite songs on a playlist (or opt to listen to something new), turn the speakers up, and just start dancing. I do stupid stuff you would never see me do on a dance floor (but trust me, it feels good to let it out). Twirl. Jump. Shake it. Twerk. Grab the end of the dresser and back that ass up! Whatever. Just move.

This, to me, is one of the purest forms of self-care. It’s free. It’s formless. It’s natural. Once you feel the energy flowing, you’ll catch yourself smiling. My favorite time to let loose is on the weekends after taking my time getting up out of bed and making myself a cup of coffee. #DailyDEBO 

Music Is and Will Always Be [#DailyDEBO]

DailyDEBO

Music can change people – it can alter their mood, broaden their perspective, and even influence their outlook. Music is insanely powerful and the people you meet through a common interest (like music) are priceless. 

We tie memories to songs and emotions to lyrics. Music brings us joy and sadness through sound. It’s quite unbelievable – live music, especially. And the crazy part is: no one is ever going to stop making music. Music is. And will always be.

Every week, I make a playlist on Spotify called “A Vibe Called Weekly” with my favorite new releases. Follow me if you like house music! #DailyDEBO

Hello Mercury Retrograde [#DailyDEBO]

DailyDEBO

Mercury has been retrograde for one whole day and this morning, as I remembered this, I grabbed my labradorite sphere, put it in my bag, and I get to my car only to find a completely flat tire. 

I don’t believe in astrology to the point of navigating life through horoscopes, but the movement of the stars in the sky and the energy resulting from that movement has been present in history and literature for centuries. And I believe in that. 

There is no definite way to prepare for this time of uncertainty, however, over time, I have noticed traits that become amplified when Mercury goes retrograde. So, naturally, there are a few things I am doing (or avoiding) with extra care.

Here they are:

  • Take a walk if feeling anxious
  • Expect surprises – especially bad ones
  • DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT have important conversations via text 
  • Re-read everything before pressing “send”
  • Over-communicate plans
  • If unsure, triple check
  • Don’t go out so much – stay in as much as possible
  • Sage the house regularly 
  • Meditate every day – even if it’s just one minute
  • Start/finish a project you’ve been meaning to spend time on 
  • Tell your friends you love them 
  • Reach out to old friends and set aside time to reconnect
  • Make lists for everything – even make lists within lists
  • Do not reply/react right away
  • Re-read everything before pushing “send” (note: I had a professor once tell me, “if someone mentions something twice, it’s because it’s important”)

Lastly, just remember: if it feels off, it is! Comment with any tips you have for surviving Mercury Retrograde. #DailyDEBO

On Friendships [#DailyDEBO]

DailyDEBO

Coasting off yesterday’s post about dating, I decided it was equally important – maybe more important – to share my thoughts about relationships. Not necessarily romantic ones, but the platonic ones, or the ones we have with our friends.

Like how weird is it to pick a person and declare “this human is cool, I’ll keep this one around” and then we just foster a friendship from that? 

I’ve experienced a time, not long ago when I felt like I had no friends. It was depressing. And I decided I never want to feel like that again. So in the last few years, I have made it a point to cultivate genuine friendships. Now, my social circle is growing at an exponential rate. 

That’s not to say everything is perfect or even peaceful. I have faults. I can be stubborn and outspoken. I can be bossy and obnoxious. Everyone in my crew has their faults too. After all, we are human. And although I love every one of my friends, I have extra love for the ones I’ve disagreed with, fought with, and challenged. Like, hey – we don’t see eye-to-eye and that DOES NOT have to affect our friendship. 

So like, hey! Cheers to you guys. I appreciate your opposing views and our casual disagreements – it means you believe in something and have the confidence to stand up for your beliefs. It means that your open mind has allowed you to see my view, express yours, and acknowledge an opposition. I am grateful to share these experiences for the sake of understanding and growth. So, if you have been one of those people, thank you. #DailyDEBO

On Dating [#DailyDEBO]

DailyDEBO, Self-Care

Being single in 2019 is so hard – especially for the 30+ crowd. Like if you weren’t lucky enough to find your soulmate in high school or college, then you’re stuck in this weird lane of uncertainty. For me, it’s a never-ending cycle of short-lived happiness followed by short-lived pain. But for some reason, I keep doing it. 

My advice to me is simple: you’ll know. 

I have ignored red flags and overlooked behaviors in a person for the sake of finding love. And I have regretted it every time. I would never admit that while it’s happening though. It’s almost like self-sabotage. My thought process is stupid: I know this isn’t going to work, but maybe if I keep trying… 

I guess what I need to be telling myself is: STOP TRYING – real companionship is effortless. 

There is always a gut feeling. Listen to it. Even if you can’t put a reason to why your nerves are saying “no” – just take a step back. The universe will do favors for you if you let it. When the right person comes along, you won’t have to try. #DailyDEBO

Home Depot DEBO [#DailyDEBO]

DailyDEBO

I never realized how much my space affected my mood until I did some minor home renovations. Read that again.

Staring up at the ceiling, I thought about how much I hated popcorn ceilings. Or that the paint color on my walls (a semi-gloss dusty mauve) made me think of rotting peaches. Not to mention the usual: unfolded laundry on my bed, dirty clothes on the floor, and the surface of my dresser crowded with clutter.  

My room needed to be a safe space for me. So once upon a Mercury retrograde, I applied for a Home Depot credit card and went full HGTV mode. I scraped the ceiling flat and painted it white. I put a cozy matte paint on the walls. I rearranged my furniture. I hung a few floating shelves, bought some (many) house plants, expanded my crystal collection, got a salt lamp for my nightstand, and organized my stuff to my liking. 

Now when I stare at the ceiling, I see the shadow of my palm tree and the glow of my salt lamp and I smile because I created this comfort for myself. Now I am happy to be in my room – the energy there is perfect and puts me in a great mood from the second I open my eyes in the morning to just before I sleep at night. Now, if someone could just do something about all my laundry (lol, jk).

To be stuck in a space that makes you miserable is not healthy. The aesthetic your surround yourself with creates energy that you will absorb, good OR bad. #DailyDEBO

Think It While You Do It [#DailyDEBO]

DailyDEBO, Fitness & Food

There was something I read once about the mind as a muscle. And how it worked with other muscles. I don’t recall the study, but here’s my very condensed recollection of it: someone studied two groups of athletic people. Group A was asked to think about every aspect of their bodies while they practiced a certain sport. Group B was not asked to do this and their minds were free to wonder. 

I think the sport was basketball (even if it wasn’t, let’s roll with it). Group A was asked to imagine their muscles performing perfectly with each jump shot or layup. They were asked to think about their heart rate with each stride. For every movement, Group A was asked to break down their effort to the cells and tissues within their bodies allowing them to perform this movement. Meanwhile, Group B chatted among each other, engaged in conversation, thought about their day, probably looked at their phones every once in a while, etc.

The result: Group A, the group who made a very strong effort to think about their bodies in relation to the physical activity, made huge strides in mental and physical health over Group B. Group A’s overall performance levels were higher. Everything from the athletes’ form and accuracy, to their energy levels, and oxygen flow was incredibly better than Group B.

I’m no athlete (or scientist) but this theory can be applied to other things in life. According to Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev’s book, Inner Engineering: A Yogi’s Guide to Joy, this concept is widely known and practiced in the Eastern world and is a crucial step in the path to enlightenment.

For example, when I eat, I think about the food being crushed down into smaller bits in my mouth. When I swallow, I imagine the vitamins, minerals, and antioxidants absorbing into my bloodstream. I try to see my cells receiving nutrients. I envision energy being created within me. When I drink water, I imagine flushing my digestive system with hydration. I sense my liver and kidneys healing. And I feel the absorption my body is receiving.

If people can improve their performance in a sport by thinking about what they are doing while they are doing it, then by nature, you should be able to do this with our health, our relationships, our work, anything! #DailyDEBO

Acknowledge and Release [#DailyDEBO]

DailyDEBO

Each morning, usually in the car on my way to work, I play music loud, and reflect silently on my current problems, accomplishments, hardships, goals, pains, happy moments, and whatever else I might be feeling. 

I make an effort to channel my emotions and energy with a sense of intention and intuition because it feels good to be able to control these things – even just for a few minutes.

During this time of inward attention, I allow bits of laughter, tears, a smile, sounds of excitement – or some days – most days – all of it. Heck – I don’t even know what I’m feeling half the time, but I feel it strongly and most importantly, I allow it.

When the feeling floodgates open, it can be overwhelming, but when regulated with gratitude, it can be so empowering. For me, not being able to control my emotions makes me feel enslaved to them.

Allowing time to acknowledge and release unwanted thoughts, feelings, and emotion is a mindful practice that helps me better understand myself. #DailyDEBO

Start Small [#DailyDEBO]

DailyDEBO

Starting small is great, it means you took the first step, which is usually the hardest part. But small is relative. And if we are aiming to make drastic changes in our lives, I say you ditch the small talk and go big, baby.

Habits are made or broken in 30 days. You can take small steps for 30 days and see little progress and limited results. Or, take large leaps for 30 days and see major progress and huge results. The takeaway is simple: 30 days is 30 days and results are results.

What is your metaphorical step count looking like? Does it match the timeline of your goals? Perhaps lengthen your stride or slow it down until you figure it out. #DailyDEBO